You might remember, I made a promise to myself at the weekend that I’d finally get around to making an appointment this week to see someone about my dodgy knee. After digging out my health insurance pamphlet to get the telephone number, I’d kind of imagined an unhurried consultation with a handsome looking bloke, with a smattering of very distinguished silver at his temple that I couldn’t help noticing as he spoke to me with a deep and reassuring – some might even say sexy – voice.
That’s what the picture on the pamphlet led me to believe was going to happen. He’d gently feel my leg whilst I admired his bedside manner, and if luck and a strong headwind was on my side I might even get to go back to get my leg felt again, on a regular basis.
So, we all know it was never going to work out like that, right?
Having made the call and limped through all the appropriate hoops I was offered a telephone consultation with a physiotherapist. They call it a triage service, and it’s designed to establish whether or not you need to actually see someone, or whether you’re just old and fat and need to shut up and get used to snarky joints.
I took the call in a little meeting room at work next to our communal office, and if anyone had walked past and glanced through the glass window whilst I was occupied on the phone, well let’s just say eyebrows would have been raised. During the course of the thirty minute consultation I bent, stretched, squatted and lunged my way though a hundred questions whilst Mystic Meg on the other end of the phone tried to make a diagnosis.
Which, it turned out, was that I’m old and fat, and better get used to the odd ache and pain because it’s not leaving any time soon.
On the one hand I’m relieved that there’s nothing actually wrong with my knee. On the other hand it’s devastating to know that this red-hot poker has taken up residence under my kneecap for no other reason than the years of body abuse I’ve inflicted upon it, driven by the broken relationship I have with food. It’s resulted in me having the joints of someone way older than my actual age, and it seems I should be thinking more along the lines of managing the discomfort than getting it fixed.
Shit. Well, there we are then.
She’s happy for me to keep walking, and the hurt machine is fine too. She didn’t even miss a beat when I told her about the mountains in Cuba, although she did say I might want to pack enough ibuprofen to knock out a hippo, which would no doubt come in handy. On a brighter note she reckons it might hurt less if I lost some weight. Oh yes, and avoid running…that was a blow, obviously.
I didn’t bore her with the details, or tell her that I was already in the zone. But that’s at least something to hang my hat on. And it doesn’t hurt all the time, that’s the thing. It’s just when I’ve walked a fair distance and then I sit down, the first steps after getting up again are agony, like it all locks up or something.
Well, fine. If that’s the deck I’m playing with, I’ll just crack on. I never had much sympathy for folk with a self-induced hangover, and this is no different at the end of the day…I made my bed and all that.
C’est la vie 🙂
I had to google ballache (snicker). In my head I was pronouncing it all fancy like ballash, ha ha. Needless to say I was surprised so thanks for a good laugh Whelk!
Hahahahahaha that’s hilarious 🙂 🙂 🙂
I went in to the dr. for knee pain a few years ago, and it turns out I have some pretty advanced arthritis. Dr. showed me the x-rays, and said, “Don’t they HURT?” Well, duh, Doc, of course they hurt. I honestly thought it was Just Because I’m Fat. But he didn’t say anything about my weight, just gave me exercises to do, told me No Stairs, No Running, and that knee replacement surgery was on the horizon. I agree you should get is checked out, what if it’s a simple fix? BTW, I love your blog, you are so funny. 🙂
Della
Aw thanks Della, and yes I’ll definitely go see someone 🙂
pshaw to that thinking! I agree you should have improvement as the weight comes off – but with the grueling schedule you’re planning it’s a must do to get someone to SEE if something’s wrong with an xray/mri etc before more damage is done that can be avoided.
I will say that one of the things that I’ve noticed with my littlest, who has hip issues that cause her a lot of pain at times [and odd times – impact is awful, but also sitting for extended periods is awful – weirdness] is that when she is taking the meds REGULARLY [instead of waiting for pain] she often does much better – she has a prescription from the ortho for naproxen that is a 12 hours pill – so when we know we’re going to be in dicey situations I start it a day or two early and then keep going till its over. It works better than medicating pain as needed as I think it provides a buffer and keeps the inflammation down all the time. If it doesn’t improve with the exercises I might spend a few days taking it round the clock to see if that doesn’t help it calm down.
But either way – I’m glad you called – I’m not sure how useful it is to talk to someone by phone about joint issues but there you are.
I thought that too at first but it’s through Nuffield Health which is quite a big provider over here Cherie, I guess I accepted it because I assumed such a big player would be sort of trustworthy? I’m going to ask to see someone though, definitely.
My daughters doctor blames everything on her being over weight. Most times doesn’t even check her over. Thankfully she will then go to the walk-in clinic where a few times it has been something serious. Unfortunately many doctors blame everything on being over weight. It is good that she will check on you again but if the pain increases I would go to the doctor.
Love your blog and your sense of humour.
Hey Linda, lovely to meet you 🙂 I think you’re right and you know what else, I’ve ignored things myself in the past because I’ve thought they’ll just tell me it’s because I’m fat, so what’s the point. Bad, isn’t it? I don’t think I’m the only one. I appreciate your kind words about the blog, thanks for reading 🙂
Hi, Dee, I share Whelk’s skepticism, as it seemed like a phone consult was pretty short shrift. & (tho again I’m no doctor either!) I have been meaning to draw your attention to a mineral supplement: glucosamin & chondroitin. Touted as beneficial for the health of our cartilage. Over time, it seems to work!
It’s encouraging that the remote-control medico didn’t instantly call for extreme measures! In the hope that you’re not a certified candidate for a titanium installation, try starting to take this pair of horse tablets, available over the counter, right in the display of ‘alphabet’ vitamins. My husband & i just take those each morning along with our daily vitamin supplements. Honey has had periods of pain in one knee particularly – intermittently debilitating. Poor thing. I seem not to have the Attah Ritis in knees, but in case the glucosamine/chondroitin can slow the ravages of time, I take it, too.
I confess i wear a copper bracelet to stave off creaky knuckles. (I am not able to believe in those magic “magnet” bracelets – for one thing, they all seem to have another metal & some kind of coating covering the copper, & it’s arguable that trace amounts of copper rubbing in thru the skin is what can keep the arthritic fingers from flaring up).
Love U Loa, Fleury
Rightio then Fleury I’ll look out for those supplements, thank you…anything’s worth a try 🙂
Just because you are older and have some extra weight doesn’t mean, necessarily, that you haven’t actually injured your knee and need treatment. If the exercises do not help, insist on seeing someone please. They tried to write off someone i know with serious back pain because he was “old”. Well, he demanded an MRI and sure enough he does have something that needs surgery.
Sage advice Mimi…you’re all speaking with one voice so I’m hearing you 🙂
This is my first ever comment on a blog or anything similar so forgive me if I get this all wrong. I’ve been reading your blog for a while and I admire your humour, rationale and achievement but I’m really worried about your physical well being after this post. I’m not a doctor or a physio but I am a heavy chick who exercises regularly. PLEASE do not accept this consultation as definitive. I would feel a lot better if you saw someone in real life. I know it’s a ballache (am I allowed to say that?) and you clearly have a busy life but Cuba is just around the corner and I feel that you need to get this sorted. Sorry again if I’ve got this all wrong but you have come too far and are so committed that you need a proper diagnosis on that knee. Best.
Hello, lovely to meet you 🙂 Thanks for your note, I’m touched that you were worried enough to reach out. Do you think so? Funnily enough my boy said the same. All joking aside she did seem to know what she was talking about, and she is going to check in with me again on Friday to see how I’m getting on with the exercises she’s recommended. She did mention there was an option to see someone if the exercises didn’t help, and I probably will. I guess I was expecting her to say it was because I was old and fat so when she did I just thought yeah that sounds about right!